Jun 29, 2009

Enter any house and join the meal

Aryaa and her mom are back from Nepal.

Aryaa liked her stay in Nepal very much. She grew very intimate with family members especially her youngest uncle and aunt. She cried a lot after getting separated from them in the airport in Kathmandu. She wanted her uncle and aunt to come to Japan with her. Sobita says Aryaa’s uncle and aunt too were crying outside.

I can feel that too. I can see the sadness in Aryaa’s face. It’s not that she is not intimate with us but for the time being, she is not happy to be here. She is missing her uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents and all the friends that she made in the village.

We are happy that she can speak some Nepali now. But she has forgotten some of her Japanese; she will have some difficulty in adjusting here again. She was very reluctant to go the kindergarten on her first day after being back.

After seeing her learn this much Nepali in just one month, I don’t have any worry now about what to do after returning back to Nepal permanently. She will be fluent in Nepali within a few months.

I always thought that a joint family is very good for the psychological/emotional development of a child and my belief has strengthened now. Children should have a very intimate relation with father and mother, there is no doubt about that but they also need grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and a lot of friends of their age. So it’s better to provide them with these ‘relations’ as much as possible. Some people fight with their parents and in-laws and stop their children from having any relationship with those people. Such parents are doing a lot of harm to their children; it’s a crime against children.

Even if the joint family is impossible in this so called “busy and modern” lifestyle, children need to grow up in a close-knit community. They should be able to enter any house and join the meal. They should feel being loved in any house and with any person in the community.

Sadly, such communities are getting fewer and fewer.

Let's give our children such an intimate and close-knit community in which they can enter any house and feel being loved.

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