Jul 29, 2009

Hurray! She had some nap----!

We were surprised to read "Aryaa took nap today." in the 'Daily Report Booklet' on Monday. I guess her teachers too must have been surprised. It was after ages that she took a nap! The hardest part of our parenting her till now is make her take a nap in the afternoon. We don't force her now, we don't even try.

Her sleep-habits are same. Despite having no nap, there is no significant change in her sleeping time at night. She falls asleep in between 9:30 and 10:00. She has become an expert on finding some excuses to make her time to bed late. She has to go to toilet although she was there just 10 minutes before or she has to drink water although all she will do is pretend drinking and sip very little----.

When she falls asleep, she sleeps very soundly for 9-10 hours. Her sleep is so sound that during the early days of our parenthood, we would sometimes put our finger in front of her nose just to check whether she was breathing or not. It sounds crazy now but we were really afraid sometimes.

She used to move a lot during sleep especially during the 3rd and 4th hours of her sleep. She still moves but much less. If she gets awakened after around 3 AM, then it is impossible to make her sleep again. This habit of her hasn't gone yet. She does like that once a month. There is no problem; she has taken her dinner well, has drunk milk before bed, has no fever and she is fine but she wakes up this early and prevents us from sleeping too.

Jul 23, 2009

Papa and Mama, please don't come here

This was another 'new' behavior from Aryaa---

She is doing it since last two weeks. When both of her parents are in the kitchen, she enters the room and closes the door. She says, "Mama and Papa, please don't come here, OK?" to us and then starts singing.

We haven't disturbed her much during such 'sessions', which last 10-20 minutes, we don't enter the room unless it's very urgent.

The Japanese words coming out from the room were not intelligible. So I decided to look at what she was doing and listen clearly what she was singing. Yesterday evening, when she was already engrossed in the singing, I opened the kitchen door very slowly, tiptoed to the door to the room she was in and looked inside from a crack.

She had a toy mic and a toy trumpet in her hands and was singing and dancing. "SEKAI NO KODOMOTACHI GA MINNA WARATTARA---"(When all the children of this World smile----), I could discern this line only.

Then I tiptoed back to the kitchen.

They have "Summer Festival" program this weekend in her kindergarten. Her "GUMI" (group) too must be performing a song or dance in that program and rehearsing it every afternoon. She was rehearsing it in home too. But she never told us she was going to rehearse it.

Seems she is learning to demand and maintain her 'privacy':)

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Jul 16, 2009

A 'losing temper' and repenting father

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My experience is telling me that children become more and more rebellious as they grow up. I don't know at what age that stops. This rebellion can become a cause of impatience in parents and things turn bad from that.

Yesterday morning, Aryaa refused to eat breakfast. Nothing was wrong, she didn't have fever or any other problems. Actually, she had already eaten two or three spoonfuls. "I don't want to eat!", she started telling me with some food in her mouth. I persuaded her for a moment. While feeding her in the morning, I am always in a tension, I fear that I will be late to office. I tried to be as gentle as possible to persuade her. Then she started spitting what she had in mouth. My patience ran out and I shouted at her.

She then started crying and I immediately started repenting. I am repenting it till now. I know that I am not an abusive father, but I am not a good one either. I easily lose my temper sometimes and repent it forever.

I sometimes might be demanding more from her than her age.

I managed something else for her. She was still reluctant at first but started eating after a few minutes. I am thankful to the NHK Education Channel for the wonderful 7-8 AM with many interesting programs for kids. Aryaa's current most favorite is an animation (dubbed in Japanese) about a cute small Koala called Penelope. Each part is only 5 minutes but that is enough to cheer up her completely.

Jul 7, 2009

'Discipline' and 'Control': How to differentiate?

I think this is a question of all the parents, not only us.

Aryaa seems to be little bit spoiled after one month stay in Nepal. I think they let her do whatever she wanted to do. They might be thinking that she would feel 'not loved' if tried to control. This was wrong.

She wants same here too and it's a big headache now. We take her to childrens' parks as much as possible but being a too energetic kid, a couple of hours in the park isn't enough for her. She wants to jump and run in the room too. We are afraid that the old couple who live in the apt. below us will come to complain. There was a family with children above us in our previous apartment and we were too irritated by the noise made by children. Aryaa is alone, so noise is less but still enough to irritate the ill couple below, especially when she throws things to the floor or drags something.

She doesn't want to eat by herself now, needs to be fed. She was already very good in eating by herself before going to Nepal. They fed her everyday in home, I guess. I know they are showing love but---. She must be having difficulty in the kindergarten now as all the children of her age are required to eat by themselves.

She now wants to let the tap always open and "wash" her hands as long as she wants. Although water is abundant here, is it good to let her develop such a habit?

Throwing clothes and other things into the floor has become her another hobby. Nothing else can make her happier sometimes!

I know it's not good to say "Don't do this!" and "Don't do that!" to children all the time but what can we do? Sometimes it's necessary for her safety, sometimes we have to be careful about neighbors and sometimes what she wants is impossible.

Controlling children too much is bad, it obstructs their psychological growth but letting them do whatever they want spoils them. Everybody wants their children to be disciplined. So how to differentiate between 'discipline' and 'control'?

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